butterflies...

my stomach has had butterflies the past couple days.

i know what i want now..
i reallly do.

i've figured out a lot of things that needed to be figured out. :)
i realized that i am not even close to being ready for marraige..
what i really found out is that i wanted was just to be with you, happy,
doing things, having fun, being young, i just wanted you to adore me and be happy with me.
i just wanted to do fun things and goof off. thats how i am. and that is what i want. and i'm just so glum. i want it all back... maybe this wasnt the way to do things.. but i felt like something needed to happen. and for myself i did realize a lot of stuff in myself. but obviously this went way too far outta hand and its just not even worth it anymore..

BAHHHH hahah i dont know. i just want to fix things up. try something else..
but who knows if we try again.. maybe things would be a lot better. maybe it did help us, maybe it did work.

i just feel so weird and know what i want.
just waiting waiting and waiting.

i just hope you remember why we did this whole thing
it was for us to fix us.
and you gotta know i love you so much.
i really really do.