life

people in life, at least once, feel as if they are lost.. confused on what they want to make of their life and places they want to go. everyone! everyone feels like this at one point in their life.
i've been there many times. right now, in my life.. i feel like this is where i'm supposed to be.
i used to beat myself up all time time.. because of the mistakes in my life that i had
made. but now, i dont, i dont beat myself up.. because i know that one day i'll be ok. that one
day i'll make it to where i want to be. the right way.. doing it the truthful way.
yes, it may be scary to tell people of your mistakes especially here where we live
in the heart of the lds church.

but me, and for myself..
i feel at peace.
i feel like heavenly father knows that i am not one of these people who are lying and decieving everyone into thinking that i am something that i'm not. i am trying to do things the right way. i am not afraid of the comments made, or the people who will talk about me and say things behind my back. no, i am not afraid to do things THE RIGHT WAY. the truthful way.

me and christian are not getting married in the temple, no. but one day he and i, we will make it there. and i feel like he and i will be blessed.. by not cowarding and lying just to get there. it takes guts to face people and to look them in the eye with your mistakes. and thats what makes me a lot different from other people.. i dont care to be judged or to make people dissapointed. because i know that one day, not now, but one day it will matter most when i am standing before him being judged, and knowing that i didnt just lie my way to the celestial kingdom. that i earned it, that i didnt cowar down into just making it there for show, but because i knew the way to do it was by not doing it for other people, but by doing it for myself.

i feel the best i have ever felt in a long time.
i cant wait to start my life with christian and fight together
to make it where we both want to be.

xo
- call