my life is full

last night i couldnt sleep.
christian was at his gravyard shift, and i seem to
not sleep very well on those nights he's away.

i woke up at 4 am, knowing christian would be
home in an hour made me restless. i got a drink of
water, ice cold. i was hot and not feeling right, so i walked
out on our porch and just stood there for awhile thinking.
the night welcoming the brisk morning air that glazed over my skin.
i thought about christian and i, and how wonderful this new chapter
in our lives has been, and will be. i was thinking about all the things
to come in our lives and that made me think of memories i had as
a child, growing up.

funny things like, all the kids in my neighborhood
they were all my best friends.
and i laughed because i realized i still am friends with most of them.
those were the best memories.
riding our bikes down to bj's gas station to buy candy
necklaces and push pops
playing basket ball on hot summer days
making lunches and taking them to the park behind my house
destroying our houses just to find fifty cents each to buy a soda at our
neighbors soda machine they had in their front yard.
making spice girls videos.
jumping off decks onto trampolines
making up dances and tapeing when we would
be performing them to our neighbors doors
so they could watch the big rutines we made up.
selling lemonade, and treats on the side of the road.
i had an amazing child hood because of those friends.

but also because my family has some pretty awesome
traditions. i have the best memories of lake powell trips
every year with our allridge buddies.
camping in our tent trailer every weekend
family reunions
fishing trips to strawberry with my dad and friends
my dad bringing me along on hunting trips
shooting my first big buck
i remember our cabin being built in scofield, and living there
every summer pretty much.
our trips every year down to nevada to stay in our grandparents
mobil home.
those innocent years of pure happiness and utter amazingness.

i thought maybe i've taken those things for granted.
but i'll never forget them.
 i could go on and on in detail about every single memory i have.
and it made me smile, knowing that i've had
a great life, a full life, and it is only the begining.
it made me smile knowing how many more memories i have
left to fill in my life. i felt excited and full of happiness.

it's crazy where life leads you, where it takes you, and who it
takes you to. i couldnt be more thankful and happy where
my life has led me.

i fed the kitty and walked inside awhile later, crawled into bed
and closed my eyes until christian walked through the door to
kiss me goodnight.
and then i fell asleep instantly.